Not only has September flown by but we have been here for over 4 months...amazing how time flies when you are some where else although days seem to go slow sometimes. In September, I have struggled with homesickness a lot more since I have been here. I think my brain has absorbed the fact that I will be here and I don't have the luxury to see family any time I want. Recently I read an article from CNN referred to a pediatrician saying "we get homesick because we miss the things we love." I find that to be very true. I can only remember one other time I have been homesick and that was in Russia/South Korea for about 5 weeks on a mission trip. I longed to be around my family and friends and things that were familiar and "normal". Here it seems to be the same problem. I want to be with the people I love and honestly my family who loves and cherishes Kaelyn the most. The ones who can express the same love to her and share moments you can't get back when she is small. I miss being able to let the grandparents love on her and stay the night with them. It's hard to go from grandparents to none being around because you know what it's like to have them to help you when you need a break or just time for them to bond. I just don't have that security or that family to lean on when I want to do something or just want to be around people here.
Here, it's a different lifestyle for me. I went from working part time for 2 years in a hospital and with co-workers that I loved dearly. Also just leaving something I actually enjoyed, although my patience was pushed daily! We went from a 3-5 mile radius of Tim working away from home to a 20 mile radius here. We also gave up one car because quite frankly the other one would have not made it 2,000 miles. It was a piece of "poo" but it was great when Tim only worked less than 5 miles away and I had a car to go do stuff with Kaelyn. I went from a loving family, a ton of friends, great church "mom" family, to a few friends and no family around. Though I am grateful for the friendships that have developed here, there is still "no place like home" as dorthy would say...haha! I was definitely in a comfort zone and content where God had placed us in KY. I have realized that when you become comfortable, God likes to shake things up a bit. Maybe not for you but He does this quite a bit in my life. When I think about it He probably is telling me "hello, did you forget I was here and in control of your life!" Oh my, how God has higher thoughts than we do! AHHHH....He tends to prove this to me all the time! As I miss home terribly I have to remind myself these are worldly things. That I am not looking at the BIG picture...God's picture.
Matthew 6:19-21
"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Colossians 3:2
"Set your minds on things above, not on the things on earth."
These commands hit hard and daily I have to think it's not about me and what I want. It's about Jesus! Not me....JESUS! I find it difficult to turn my mindset back to Jesus because I am so selfish of what I want. I pray my heart will desire to fully grasp and to have a mindset there is more than the people I love but there are people who are dying and not knowing who Jesus is.
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