Grace

So its been a while since we have updated everyone on our lives in Vegas. Quite a few things have happened since October...ha! The most recent event was when went home between Feb 8th-18th to spend 10 days in KY. It was absolutely wonderful to be back to see good friends and family. Not to mention Kaelyn was a wonderful traveler on the plane thanks to the help of Little Einsteins. If you haven't seen the cartoon on disney they fly in a rocket ship and say pat, pat, pat....blast off! Kaelyn's favorite part ,which she decided to say as well when we ascended in the air on the plane! Definitely a good experience than about 9 months ago when it was just myself and her on the plane! 

Going home was a good reminder of why we are out here in the first place. Yes, I have deeply missed my family and friends because I value their relationship so much. I also do feel like I have been missing out and will be missing out on things that have been happening such as my best friend having her first baby in July and my cousin having her second in May. It was such a relief but at the same time when we got back to Vegas Tim and I both said it felt good to be back "home." Leaving KY wasn't easy for me because of the big blow out with my mother the night before we left only because I had opened my mouth and said we would be staying for another year in Vegas. I was destroyed by the things that was said to me and being told that I was not in God's will. I don't think I have been hurt so much emotionally about the decision I have made in my life to pursue God and for one of the most important person tell me that I wasn't. It was a let down, a big fat downer and lie that Satan has been telling my mother. Satan was definitely prowling around and being sneaky to make me feel like I was not good enough. That I wasn't doing what God had planned for us to do. In fact, it hurt so much that when I came back to Vegas it felt good to be back and to be away because of the resentfulness I held in my heart. It felt good to be reassured that God had placed us in Vegas. Vegas is just the small piece of the puzzle but it seems it can be the most complicated piece by trying to figure out where it fits into my life. This past year I have struggled with my identity, asking where do I fit in? I was stripped from everything I knew. I felt good about who I was and what I had accomplished living in KY...I felt that I had fit in there. I had my family and really great friends and was surrounded by love and felt cherished. I know my family and friends still do love and cherish us but to not be surrounded by that every week has been a struggle.

A few things that I have learned since we have back:

1. Tim and myself have grown spiritually 

2. I myself still struggle to depend on God daily and I am not very gracious

3. Vegas isn't as bad of place to live than I thought it was...haha!

This past Sunday we talked about Grace how everyday you either deny or apply the gospel of grace.

Denying Grace: Its all about me, my wants, and running other places outside of God such as social media for me. James 4:1

Abundant Grace: Talking less about yourself and the fact that God gives more grace... James 4:6

Applying Grace: Submitting to God fully and completely to Him

This is how I know I am being submissive to the Lord...Loyalty, Loyalty,Loyalty! We are being loyal by following what God wants us to do and not what we want to do OR what others think we should do.

A few other ways I can apply grace:

*Resisting Satan: Self slavery by thinking this isn't the plan I wanted for my life. Also living under others expectations such as my mom's, its exhausting to be her happiness.

*Drawing nearer to God: Like I said I have struggled with this. I need to focus less on myself and what I want so I can focus more on Him.

*Cleansing my hands: My IDENTITY in Christ, not my identity in who I think I was or am. Being completely done in living in others expectations of who I should be or where I should be!

*Purifying my heart: Letting go of my pride. Daily reminding myself it isn't about me, its about Him.

Luke 9:23 And he said to all "if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me"

Flourishing Grace: James 4:10 "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you!"

After being in KY and being back in Vegas I had no idea how much I had grown in Christ and how abundantly gracious he has been to me since we have lived here. I have seen that He is jealous for me and that He wants all of me, not just a piece of me. That HE loves me and that His love matters more than my husband's love, my family's love and friends love. That I need to value and see that He loves me more than anyone can or will. That He will never leave me and He will always be there for me! God has given me peace and reassurance that we are in the midst of his presence and that we are in the right place at the right time at this moment. 

Last but not least I need more grace and I need to give more grace!! Since God gives so much abundance I need to give more and turn into being more like Him! 

How can you apply grace to yourself and others?